Soul Food #13: Letting it Go

Soul Food #13: Letting it Go

Buongiorno!

The phrase “let it go” may have a multitude of meanings for you.  Nothing feels better and more liberating than letting things go that you’ve been hanging onto.  This topic has been on my mind lately, and I feel like it can apply to every single one of you (and myself of course!).

I also found the STUNNING Lincoln Park Conservatory here in Chicago this week so I thought I’d share some lovely photos of flowers in this post. 🙂

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For those of you that have been following me for a while, you may know that I lost my mother not long ago.  Like any real life changing event, this put many new things into perspective for me.  I’ve noticed a source of unnecessary stress, worry, and pain in my life that I, alone, was responsible for creating and I was hoping my discoveries could help someone else too. 🙂

One thing we do have control over in this life is our mind.

Letting things go is a conscious practice you can train your mind to do to increase your inner peace.  One thing that we do have control over in this life is our mind, so why not harness that control to bring yourself more peace?

When an event happens that is frustrating or hurtful, it’s very easy to slip into the negative side of things. Replaying and reliving these events after the fact sends you down a black hole of stress, unhappiness, and negativity.  The good news is you don’t have to go down that spiral.

 

 

 

Quite frankly I used to essentially live in a spiral.  I went from one negative black hole to the next and kept talking and obsessing about every detail of the unfortunate situation basically until the person I was talking to (almost always my mother) told me to stop.  My mom always told me to “Let it go, let it go. You’ve gotten it off your chest, now move on.”  I found this response almost offensive and I would often get mad at her for suggesting that I just “move on”.  How could I let it go? It sucked so much that I can’t stop talking or thinking about it so letting it go is just not even something I could physically do.

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For me, this practice of spinning and spinning on a single negative situation had become such a permanent fixture in my life and mind that it took me this huge life event to snap out of it.

I started to take things more lightly in general.  When living truly moment to moment, almost nothing is that big of a deal.  That sounds simplistic, but it’s really true.  If you are fully present, you can feel upset and whatever emotions you are feeling, but you just let it go and move on to your next moment.

As soon as I started to integrate this new practice, my life became lighter.  I didn’t have to stay in a negative space any longer than necessary.  Shit happens, as we all know.  And a good venting session can never be underrated.  However, after the vent, after you get it all off your body, release it and all negative emotions associated with it, and move into your next moment as a fresh slate.

I listen to a lot of talks about these kinds of topics and everyone says the same things.  We are never supposed to linger in our emotions.  And that goes for positive emotions as well.  When you are high or low, you can fully be in that moment and live your reaction and feelings.  But you have to release it all after in order to be truly present.

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Everything is based on the flow.  It’s all around us actually.  The waves of the ocean, the changing of the seasons, even life itself! We come in and we go out.  Things and people come into our lives, and they go.  The expression, “easy come, easy go” is something I try to live by.

Holding on is what creates long-lasting pain and even disease in the body.  And when you hold on for long periods of time (years and years) your body will eventually start to respond.  Your body is listening and feeling your every thought and it’s not going respond positively to a constant negative spiral.

For someone very sensitive like myself, I found this concept so very difficult.  I took everything personally.  Add to that that I have a very vivid memory and I can recall every single time a teacher has ever scolded me or a girl ever gossiped about me.  But it’s especially important for those personalities to let go.  Holding grudges or even negative memories is only hurtful for your body and only hurts you.

There is conflict over who actually said this quote, but I love it.  “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”  And that can extend to even more emotions than anger.  Holding on period is just hurting you.  So let it go.

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Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

We have this choice.  We have control over our minds.  It can take practice and discipline to turn something around that you have been doing for a long time, but the payoff is incredibly liberating and beyond worth it.


I hope you guys got something out of this message.  Please let me know your thoughts.  I’m really curious what you guys think of this topic.

Alla prossima,

Amanda <3

23 Comments

  1. March 15, 2017 / 8:47 am

    “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

    This is something I will remember. Thanks.

  2. March 15, 2017 / 8:53 am

    You just inspired me to be more positive. Great post as always.

  3. Treacy Greer
    March 15, 2017 / 10:43 am

    Hi Amanda- this is so spot on & timely. Thanks for sharing with all of us. Hope you’re enjoying Chicago!
    Treacy

    • March 15, 2017 / 10:19 pm

      Hi Treacy! So happy to hear this, thank you! <3 Hope to see you soon 🙂

  4. Emmy
    March 15, 2017 / 11:27 am

    Great post Amanda! Your mom taught you a valuable lesson-what a gift! Hope to see you soon! Emmy

  5. March 15, 2017 / 11:37 am

    I couldn’t agree more with what you say (very well said, by the way 🙂 Hugs!

  6. March 15, 2017 / 1:57 pm

    I’m sorry to hear about your loss. This was a great blog post with a powerful message. I’m sure a lot of readers will take inspiration from it, as did I.

  7. Laurie
    March 15, 2017 / 5:02 pm

    Amanda,
    Your post is very beautiful, inspiring and it brings me a great deal of heart felt happiness to read your words. I am so glad for you sweetheart!

    • March 15, 2017 / 10:22 pm

      Hi Laurie! Thank you so much, I’m so happy you enjoyed my post <3

  8. March 15, 2017 / 8:44 pm

    I love this message and I’m so sorry about your mom. I read one of your other posts and she seemed like a very wise, beautiful woman. Letting go has been so tricky for me, I’m not sure if it’s the actual act of letting the familiar go or if it’s the unknown that’s waiting for me once I do. What I will say is life has a funny way about exposing us and putting us in uncomfortable situations, always proving to us that we are stronger and more resilient than we thought. Your mom lives on in you and I’m sure she’d be so proud to know that you got it. (I hope that was okay to say) Anyway, thanks for sharing.

    • March 15, 2017 / 10:24 pm

      Thank you so much for your kind words. I can’t help but talk about her because she taught me everything I know and continues to teach me. I think it’s always difficult to change a pattern or habit that we have been doing for years. But once you commit to making the change, you are so so grateful! <3

      • March 16, 2017 / 5:13 am

        Right now, my dilemma is what to do when my job ends and the habit is looking for another job. It’s never been hard for me to find work but I haven’t found anything yet and am getting anxious. Now that I’ve started blogging, I love it. Unfortunately, it doesn’t provide for me. So, I’m definitely at a character building crossroad. The question I’ve been posing to myself, “Do I kick the habit or do I keep applying?” Again, thanks for sharing it has added great perspective.😊

      • March 16, 2017 / 10:15 pm

        I totally understand being in that situation. Just keep the faith and keep a clear vision of what you want-even if all you know right now is that you want happiness in whatever job it is. <3

  9. March 16, 2017 / 5:57 pm

    Just what i needed to read this week!

  10. Bonnie
    March 16, 2017 / 8:44 pm

    Amanda, your mom was a beautiful person and left such an incredibly beautiful legacy in you. This was very inspiring to read and after having recently lost my dad, rendering me and my siblings now “parent-less” with them both gone, letting go of certain things is critical to moving on and living life. Thank you…and thank you to your mom for the gift of you to the world! I’m coming to Chicago to visit my nephew soon and def want to see you! Stay well! XO❤

    • March 16, 2017 / 10:18 pm

      Thank you so much for those sweet, sweet words Mrs. H. I’m so sorry to hear about your father. Just helping us grow and become stronger. 🙂 I would LOVE to see you, write me when you know when you’ll be here!! <3

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